Friday, October 1, 2010

Sad & Numb

Last night, I got the phone call that my Grandfather passed away.  Family has been with him round the clock.  This was one of the few times that he was alone.  It was just 5 minutes after family left that he passed. 

Right now, I'm feeling sad and numb.  That is the best way for me to describe it.  I knew he wasM sick, knew this was going to happen, but it still hit hard.  Like I said in a previous post, no matter how prepared you think you are / think you've made yourself, you never truly are. 

I know he is no longer in pain, but it still hurts to know I will never see him again and my sweet boy will never really know him. 

Everyone is just heartbroken.  I cried last night and had trouble falling asleep.  Once I was asleep, I had a dream about him.  In my dream, he was sitting next to me in the back seat of a car, but I was afraid to look at him.  It was as if I was watching a horror movie, where I would cover my eyes and then slowly peek through my fingers.

It is now time to be with family, to be there for one another, and get ready for the services.  I'm truly hoping that this doesn't bring out drama in anyone, like death of a loved one is known to do. 

So, I won't be posting as much as I'd like right now.  I hope it's understandable.


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