Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Trying To Get Rid Of My Shell!
As a child, I grew up extremely shy like a turtle in it's shell. I have many theories on why this happened, but then I would be writing a novel. So, maybe I'll post about them another time. When I was very young, I would cling to my mother and not leave her side if we were out / around other people.
In school, I was quiet and shy, but still had friends. Growing up my family was poor. I never really asked anyone to come over because our place was very small and my mom didn't really encourage the idea. I was never told I shouldn't let our "status" stop us or that I shouldn't feel embarrassed, etc. I'm sure this added to how extremely shy I was.
A few of my close friends moved away after elementary school, one out of state and the others a few hours away. By the end of middle school, I started to poke my head out of "my shell" more and made more friends, best friends.
We then began high school. I kept my head out of the shell, but still was hesitant. Then, our high school relationships began and I really started to become more out going and made so many more friends. It felt great and I finally was being "me" and feeling confident.
Unfortunately, after high school I was in a bad relationship, no need for details right now. However, I lost touch with a lot / a majority of my friends and started going back in to my shell. It really did a number on my self confidence. After 3 years I finally grew the courage to end the relationship and move on with my life.
I had what I thought was my Best friend, but then later found out she was still in touch with the bad ex. We were also going in 2 different directions in life. I had to say goodbye to that "friendship". I put quotations because in the end I learned she truly wasn't a friend to me.
I started a new job and it was great. I made so many new friends and we all would hang out, go shopping, and have dinner. Well, 2 moved out of state and some of the others either just faded all together or life just made it harder to stay in touch as much.
I then met my husband and fell head over heels. He truly is an amazing man, but that's another post. We've had and still have an amazing relationship / friendship. My husband is my Best friend. When we first started living together, I moved an hour away from where I grew up.
It's hard as an adult to make new friends, it really is. So, I don't really know many people where I am. The majority of people I know are an hour or more away. That's pretty far when you have a child just over 1. Once I became a mom a little over a year ago, I thought it would become easier, but that is not true. I heard that parks are a great place to meet other moms, but every time we went to the parks, there really wasn't anyone there. Unfortunately, right now we can't afford to go to a place such as Gymboree or Little Gym, although I'd love to. It would be great for my son and myself.
So, how does one meet other moms / new friends as an adult? I'm 30 and I find it difficult. I mean you also don't want anyone to think you are coming off too strong either.
Well, I do have a Girls Night coming up with another mom I met from having my son's photos done throughout his first year. So, we'll see how that goes. I want to rid myself of my shell for good, but it truly isn't an easy task. I actually get nervous about being in social situations which I know is silly, but I think I have "social anxiety". I am looking forward to going though and I do know it will be fun.
If you have any Friendly advice / tips for me on coming out of my shell completely or making new friends as an adult, please feel free to share.